| | I got a job at the Governor's office as his spokesperson.
April fools. Mike Beebe is a liberal Democrat anyway.
The Houston Open was incredible. And quite large. Except, it didn't seem like it was. We dropped in double octas, but Marshall q'd in OI, and lots of cool people did incredibl well. You know who you are, and congratulations.
Edit: Oh my goodness, this is hilarious. President Bush:
He
addressed the firing of eight U.S. attorneys: “I have to admit we
really blew the way we let those attorneys go. You know you’ve botched
it when people sympathize with lawyers.” And he had a zinger ready for
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi: “Speaking of subpoenas, it’s good to see
Speaker Pelosi tonight. Some have wondered how the two of us would get
along. Some say she’s bossy, she’s opinionated, she’s not to be crossed,”
he said. “Hey, I get along with my mother.”
“President Clinton, of course, wrote a very successful presidential
memoir, with 10,000 pages or something. I’m thinking of something really
fun and creative for mine. You know, maybe a pop-up book.” As for how
this year has been different from last year, the President said: “A year
ago my approval rating was in the 30s, my nominee for the Supreme Court
had just withdrawn and my Vice President had shot someone.” Allowing
a pause, he concluded, “Ah, those were the good old days.”
David Letterman: “Top Signs It’s Spring In New York City”:
Tourists are getting mugged for their decongestant; The subways smell
like urine and Starbucks iced coffee; Instead of convenience stores,
thieves are sticking up Jamba Juice; Rosie O’Donnell has started a feud
with her allergist; Katie Couric is doing the news in a tank top and
hot pants; Donald Trump’s hair has begun to bloom; Stranded JetBlue
passengers are on the tarmac in lawn chairs.
Jay Leno: I love when they say this [attorney firing
business] is a constitutional crisis. Oh, please. We haven’t used
the Constitution in years. ... It is officially spring. Al Gore
blamed the end of winter on global warming. ... Al Gore returned to
Congress. Everyone said Al Gore was treated like a rock star. I think
the rock star was Meat Loaf. ... Al Gore testified that if we act now,
we can still save the planet. Well, the whole planet except Florida. He’s
still a little upset. ... Hillary and Bill Clinton appeared together at
a fundraiser in New York last weekend. They’re appearing together again
this weekend. Bill wants to be there to support her campaign. She wants
Bill there because it’s Spring Break. ... Former presidential candidate
Tom Vilsack says he’s now officially endorsing Hillary Clinton. Well,
that should put her over the top! Unless, of course, Walter Mondale comes
out for Dennis Kucinich—then it’s wide open again. ... According to a
new poll, 29 percent of U.S. households do not have Internet access and
have little hope of getting it. You know what the technical name is for
people with no hope of Internet access? AOL customers. ... There was a
big scare at the John Edwards campaign headquarters. It was evacuated
after a staff member opened an envelope containing white powder. Turns
out it was just some of John Edwards’ age-defying make-up base. ... I
guess in Al Gore’s office they found some white powder too. But that
was just from his powdered doughnuts.
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| | Posted 4/1/2007 10:51 PM - 50 Views - 20 eProps - 11 comments
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